Friday, October 21, 2011

thank heaven for grandmothers

i think that there is something singular and exceptional about women who have lived long, rich lives.  they have that singular and exceptional something in their hands.  and they can give it to you, that wisdom, strength, and love, when the touch you, literally and figuratively.  i love grandmothers, those that are mine and those that aren't.  and last week my life was especially graced by them.

unlike BYU, the U gives its students breaks, fall breaks even.  for my fall break i got to go to hawaii because of my auntie.  but we will talk about her later.  on the flight from LA to Honolulu, i sat by these two mexican abuelitas, sisters going to hawaii.  man, oh man i wished i spoke spanish.  it took a few hours, but by the end of the journey they were calling me meja and sharing their flamin' hot cheetos with me.  they told me how they met their husbands and how hard it was now that their husbands have passed.  they showed me pictures of their children and grandchildren and talked about going home to mexico.  mostly we spoke in english, but sometimes they spoke in spanish and i strained their ears to limits using every bit of romance language i have to piece together what they were saying.  they held my hands when they were talking and looked me straight in the eye.  and before i left, they got my address and gave me theirs so that we could stay in touch and told me how glad they were to meet me.  and i couldn't help but believe them.  it was the best flight i have ever had due to the unexpected latina matriarchs who took me under their wings.

when i got to hawaii, i spent my a the week with two of my aunties: auntie sharon and auntie jadean.  they aren't my real aunts, just two phenomenal women i'm so lucky to have.  auntie sharron is from idaho.  but she met this hawaiian surfer stud studying at ricks, fell in love, and the rest his history.  a woman after my own heart.  she and her husband traveled and lived all over the world.  they went from idaho to canada to hawaii to seattle to provo to hawaii again.  she told me stories from visiting jordan, israel, turkey, china, all over europe.  she and her husband served a temple mission in new york and were mission presidents in the philippines.  i especially loved her stories from the philippines.  she would have been such a wonderful mission presidentina.  she said when she got to the philippines, based on what she saw on the drive from the airport to the mission home, she would have flown back to the US immediately if there was a classy way to do so.  the poverty was unlike anything she'd ever been exposed to and she truly did not think she could handle it.  but then she knew that she was there to serve her missionaries, and that's what she did.  she loved the people, but she loved her missionaries more.

the thing that i love about my auntie sharron isn't that she has been to so many places or how much she has changed about or added to herself, though those things are wonderful.  it's what she has retained.  how she has stayed the same.  because i can see her serving various missions, moving to various places, visiting various countries and doing it all in her down-to-earth, idaho girl, warm, friendly, and inclusive way.  she took what there was to take and gave more back in return.  she knows how to make you feel welcome and comfortable.  i think that is one of the greatest gifts.

my auntie jadean is simply one of my favorite people in this whole wide world.  she and her husband met my parents in law school when the were there lo those many years ago.  after law school, my parents moved back to utah and my auntie and uncle moved back to hawaii.  but, as has been highly beneficial to me, they stayed in contact.  when i was 15, we took our first trip to the hawaiian isles.  i've been back 5 times since then.  due to my auntie and her generosity, hawaii is one of the cheapest vacations i can take.  not bad.  this last trip is the only one i've taken on my own.  it was me and auntie for a whole week.  hawaii has come to feel like home, and i know that to be the work of my auntie.  she just grabs you and pulls you into her life and her heart.

auntie is from kansas and she is fiercely loyal to and proud of it.  she can't tolerate people who say it's a waste-of-space state because the prairies there are beautiful, you just have to open your eyes to it.  what a stark contrast to the obvious beauty of hawaii.  i think that those rolling prairies and endless skies profoundly shaped my auntie because that is how she feels: open and easy, wise and timeless, a little wild and unconquerable.  she and my uncle aren't members.  but if they were, she would be the dream relief society president.  she'd be devoted, creative, and tireless.  she also doesn't have any children, which is one of the greatest sadnesses that i know of.  everyone would benefit from having a mom like my auntie.  people are her specialty.  reading you and knowing how to tell you those hard truths while simultaneously bolstering you up is what she does best.  i got a healthy does of that last week.  and that's exactly what i needed.

being back in law school, what i'm thinking is that i want to bring those characteristics embodied in the women that brightened my week last week to everything that i do in my own life.