Monday, January 31, 2011

so shall it be written, so shall it be done

it is not an unknown fact that i love speeding.  when i drive, nothing is more pleasing to me than cruising 20 (or more...) over the recommended mph, weaving in and out of slower cars, and making it to my destinations in ridiculously short times.  the one draw back is cops.  because they love busting me as much as, if not more than, i love speeding.

on saturday, i was busted for this very crime.  i've never quite felt the pinch of a ticket before, but i sure did on this one.  perhaps it's because i've had to buy a new clutch for my car, a new computer, and had my ipod break (again) all in the past two weeks.  all rather expensive replacements.  a ticket is just not in my budget.  so, i have had to face the music: speeding is not in my budget either.

i almost cried as i pulled away from the pig who ticketed me.  and i solemnly swore then and there never to speed (past 10 miles over) again.  my mettle was put to the test the very next day when i had to drive to salt lake for a party.  and, i am pleased-as-the-best-of-punch to announce that i kept my goal/vow.  it was rather relaxing not to be on a constant vigil for the fastest route to take between traffic.  i was able to sit back and smile and knowingly shake my head at those who have not yet learned my lesson.  what's more, instead of fearing cops, i called them on wanting to rub in their faces that they would have no reason to fine me anymore!

i am not naive enough to believe that i won't want to relapse, but i am determined not to let myself.  and that is why i am recording my resolution here.  so shall it be written, so shall it be done.

oh, and here's this, just an old favorite...

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

non-native speakers speak it better

this is my third semester teaching english to non-native speakers at BYU's English Language Center.  my 7 months here have basically been hilarious.  the thing that i have learned over and over again is that learning english from a different language background makes you speak it better.

i had my advanced class from this semester write me a paper on the difference between place and space and i was delighted with the answers that they came up with.  here are some of my favorite ideas:

"a place is a little portion in space that is related with human beings.  it can be a place to live such as a house, a place to stay, such as a part in a room and so on.  in addition, a place has limits and is part of the space,  in the other hand, the space have many meaning and it refers to an infinite or finite extension.  it can be the space that is infinite and all the galaxies are in it.  it can also be a part of an empty area such as between letters or words in a paper."

"in my opinion the United States is supposed to be a space country, but a lot of immigrants of many countries are trying to make a place."

"some people think it is very important to have a good place instead a good space.  and some other people think that a huge space is better than a perfect place.  it is very important to have a place...in contrast it is also important not only to have the place but to have enough space for it.  sometimes people focus too much to have a good place and when them find it they figure out it is also important to have enough space."

"place is an area that has boundary which is physically touchable.  for myself, place could be like a home, something you can always feel safety and feel comfortable with, no matter how crazy the world is, there is always something you can lean on to it... space is an area without physical boundary...it's more like an outside open area.  i do enjoy spending time outside.  the favorite 'space' for me is the forest.  the beauty of nature brings peace and claim to my busy heart."

i love reading their responses, finding their cultures, beliefs, struggles, triumphs bleeding through in their imperfect english.  because sometimes meaning is conveyed best through mistakes.  when i read "the beauty of nature brings peace and claim to my busy heart", you couldn't have paid me to correct it into the platitude "peace and calm". i understand and agree more with that concept than if she had said it correctly.  i love the idea of using space/nature to bring claim, to bring ownership back to my busy heart.

however, the best example i have of english mastered by non-native speakers comes from last semester.  i had a student from haiti who spoke haitian creole and french natively.  they way he bent and molded english was always surprising and lovely to me and it all came to a head on the last day of class.

he followed me down the hall from the classroom to my office.  he informed me, in french, that he had something that he needed to tell me and that he could tell me now that he wasn't my student anymore.  from what i could understand in my poor classroom french (which never exposed me to love confessions, and i do think that is a glaring oversight especially since french is the language of love), he said he was moving to boston and that boston and provo are far apart but that we could and should make it work for us to be together.  bewildered and underprepared, i did my best to hem and haw in frenglish out of the situation, but he was persistent and pressed forward.  so, finally, i told him in plain english that he needed to go because he would be late for his class.  this was his response, "if i don't talk to you i will be late for my life.  which is more important, not to be late for class, or not to be late for your life?"

stunning.  of course it is more important not to be late for your life.  those are words that i have never thought of stringing together and sincerely wish i had.  of course i would be handed them by a french speaking haitian who has a better grasp of how to use my language than i ever will.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

when disaster strikes, strike back.

but how?  oh, how?

i was sitting in my office today, minding my very own business as i planned my classes and listened to my music when my computer wiped out my ipod's entire music library.

devastation ensued.  obviously.

i just sat there and held my little dead (or at least blank and useless) ipod in my hand and didn't know what to do.  my mind rolodexed through my losses which were mainly in the form of playlists but also came as artists/songs that i'd stolen from other people's computers that i'll probably never remember to get again and so, from here on out, whenever that artist or song pops into my mind to be played, i'll turn to my trusty ipod and it will come up lacking and through no fault of its own.

losing music is a tragic thing.  and i had just come up with such a good, good playlist.

what does one do in this situation?  because i want vengeance.  but, let's be honest, apple will never pay up.  what am i going to do?  write and tell them that a malfunction on one their macbooks caused my entire itunes on my ipod to evaporate into so much cyberspace vapor?  they won't care.  and i can't really go the route of punishing the apple corporation, i'm entirely too dependent on them.  i want their sleekly designed machines with their user-friendly apps and programs to run my life for me.  but i don't want them to eat each other.  that's not right.

and so, here i am, using my apple-fabricated keyboard to write my apple-tainted words wishing that, somehow, i could turn back the clock and disconnect my ipod before i lost the whole of my music life and wondering when there will be an app for that.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

french

i want to be it.  is that so wrong?

i want to speak like this:


i want to sing like this:




i would like to look like this:


or this:


and to live here:



and to eat this:


so i am planning a trip here:


who's with me?  viva la france!