not gonna be in provo anymore, toto

i opened my email this morning and was greeted by a message titled "Bar Review".  and i thought to myself, "self, this seems pretty preemptive.  you haven't started classes, won't be taking the bar for a few years, but i suppose it is never too early to start preparing..."  so i open it ready to be faced with book lists and helpful hints in legalese, but what i really saw was this:

Fellow Students,

For the well initiated, kindly move on to the time and place section and we'll see you tonight. 

For the rest of you...ahem, incoming 1Ls, welcome to Bar Review!  What is Bar Review? 

Every week your tireless Commissoners (Marc Therrien and Ed Jang with intern Matt), crack open a fresh beer and ponder over which local bar we should patron.  Then, we half-assedly compose a semi-coherent email telling you the general time and direction of our location.  All this hard work pays off when you, stressed and anxious law student, finally get to relax and realize that law school can be...bearable.

Although your Commissioners and the Bar Review Cabinet strongly encourage that you capitalize on your opportunities to have fun, we also offer a plea for responsibility.  In the spirit of responsibility, we have come up with the following guidelines to ensure a safe and fun environment (this list is largely made up so we leave it to you to drink responsibility):

1. Law school classes are hard; Bar Review is EASY!  Just follow this simple three step process:

1. Step 1, show up to designated bar at designated time. 
2. Step 2, have a drink (preferably alcoholic) in your hand.
3. Step 3, have fun!

2.  Use common sense!  We understand that common sense may not seem so common, however, stupid is easy to spot.  Which leads us to...

3. Don't be stupid.  If you require further explanation regarding this rule, bring your local Commissioner a beer and keep them coming…you’ll soon get the picture.

4.  If you should find yourself annoyed by our weekly ramblings and would like to be removed from the list, you're outta luck!  We encourage you to stop by the Technology Help Desk located in the Law Library and ask to them about email filtering.

5.  Photographs preserve memories of a lifetime...FOR A LIFETIME…

While the official Bar Review starts in August, the Summer Bar Review season is in full swing!  Join us at Cheers to You (315 S. Main St.)  TONIGHT (Thursday, July 8) at 9PM.  *STAY ALIVE, DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE*

Succeeding in the game of life,

Your Commissioners Marc and Ed

and intern Matt.

Call/text/stalk us at (801) 44-U-PUTZ (Ed) or (801) 41-ED-LAW (Marc)

Time: Today, Thursday July 7 @  9PM

Place: Cheers to You (315 S. Main Street)

Specials: College Night - FREE Pool
$4.50 & $5.50 Pitchers

Website: http://www.cheerstoyouslc.com/

Trivia: First person to answer with the CORRECT* answer will get a free drink on us!

A four time Academy Award winning film featuring police and mob infiltration is a remake of THIS Hong Kong crime thriller.

*The correctiveness of an answer is to be determined by the person coming up with the trivia questions.   Common knowledge and reference materials (i.e. encyclopedias, libraries, the interweb, your teacher, your parents, your spouse, the media, etc.) will not be considered in the final answer.  Any challenge or criticism to our trivia methodology will be promptly ridiculed or ignored.

so, that is different than what i've become accustomed to.  there was no spiritual quote, no one imploring me to walk outside of a chalk circle.  just people wanting to drink.  what a novel idea.