i have never been a bachelor fan. but somehow, this year, i got sucked in. let's be honest, though. it was only a matter of time. i drink obscene amounts of diet coke. i love us weekly. i've read all four twilight books. really, considering my resume, it's amazing i've held out this long.
so, the time has come, and i have fallen...for catherine giudici.
she's cool. cooler than sean. she can fit into a tire. she has a normal voice (not one that's super high, sugary sweet, and hisses out S's like a ssssssnake). and she doesn't cry all the time, like someone i know...
plus, she does humorous stuff.
and she says humorous things.
she makes the entire show seem somewhat normal and restores my faith in the kind of womankind who apply for and go onto reality tv shows in order to find true love and get married.
also, i'm pretty sure she could kill tierra, my new arch-nemisis.
i would be lying if i didn't say that i generally view "the bachelor" as a battle royal between me (catherine) and dramatic, bratty, temper-tantrum-throwing, volatile, pushy, aggressive, pouty manhandlers (represented by tierra). so far, catherine and i have won.
come on, sean. we look great in a wedding dress.
somehow, i feel like my whole life's happiness is contingent on who sean picks as his wife...
last night my indian roommate told me that my voice sounds like this:
and i'm like, "THANK YOU!"
she said i'd left a song (the above song) on in my room when i'd gone downstairs and she thought it was me until she looked in my room and didn't see anyone except a lone computer belting out this little number. "you're voices just sound the same!" she explained.
she has front row tickets to my daily performances, as her room is right next to the bathroom. i have often wondered whether she dreaded my shower time. who knew all along she thought i sounded like rihanna? i'm not sure whether or not she thinks that's a good thing...but i think it's awesome, for like a billion reasons including that:
1) rihanna's not white, which has always been a goal of mine.
2) she's got a phenomenal voice, and
3) fabulous clothes, not to mention her
4) hair, face, and bod.
5) she can BUST A MOVE.
6) she has a hot boyfriend, and
7) an awesome accent, and
8) a holiday dedicated to her. (it's on february 22, so, let's go to barbados and celebrate!)
however, in compiling this list of pros for being rihanna-esque, i realized that many of her pros are also serious cons because:
1) sometimes her clothes are atrocious.
2) as are her hair and accessories (though her face and bod are always on point. ok, well maybe not her face).
3) her boyfriend punches her in the face, and
4) he currently looks like this, complete with the worst tattoo ever tattooed:
5) she probably cries herself to sleep at night remembering that chris brown used to be like this:
and this:
and from the fresh wounds he has inflicted upon her.
so, all in all, i don't wish that i was rihanna, since she's mostly crazy (with a frosting layer of cool). but i do not mind being told that i sound like her. and i want it on the record that chris brown will always be an OC band geek in my mind.
and i want to keep it pink because it is beautiful like a rose petal and who doesn't want to look like a rose petal on their wedding? no one i care to know, unless you're a boy, in which case i can think of quite a few who don't want to look anything like a rose petal ever. wedding dresses are generally supposed to be white, though. so, that is problematic. as is the fact that it is expensive. and that i'm not engaged. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i want to both thank and curse jayne for posting this picture on my wall.
2) you should not blow your nose like a fog horn in the middle of class. you just should not. it is terrible and disgusting. and don't add insult to injury by blowing that crap into a rough brown paper towel procured from the bathroom. it is not absorbent. it is one step up from expelling your nose contents into a piece of lined paper. all of those boogers will wind up in your hand and not in the towel which leaves my ears ringing from your nasal-honk and stomach churning at the mess now being wiped on your pant. i'm just saying.
each winter i feel increasingly more like this tiger:
not so much about living in a small place with double-glazing, or about feeling like a kind of piece of object in a box, or about being a car-NI-vore eating fresh meat instead of potatoes.
but for sure about living in a hot country that i have a good weather, a space with blue skies that i can see the sun every day, alright. that i have nice weather, that i can just have nice water that i can dive to swim in, it means a tropical country. it's easy. any part of the world, but hot. name it. and i'll go.
preach, brother.
enough of this 12 degree weather already.
(and thank you, gretch. you know how i love this clip.)
the christmas story is one of my favorites. it has so many wonderful characters. the donkey, who humbly and surely carried Mary to bethlehem. the angels who couldn't help from singing such glad tidings, and the the shepherds who were worthy and ready to hear their message when it came in the middle of the night. the innkeeper who didn't have room in his inn, but who found room in a stable. herod, who would have had the Christ child killed. Joseph is one my favorites. i cannot imagine what he must have been feeling as a man, the responsibility and focus that must have been his as his wife gave birth to his Savior. and Mary herself, who we know to be fair, obedient, faithful, and who pondered those sacred and hallowed things in her heart, probably, for the rest of her days.
but each time i read the christmas story, i read on to the wise men and the star that they followed, who knows how far and who knows for how long. such interesting and mysterious people are these threekings from the orient, who had the means and the conviction and the belief to follow a star to their redeemer. which leads me to the star itself, a symbol of hope and of promises hung in the heavens to be followed if sought. sometimes i feel like a wise man, ever trailing the stars the Lord sees fit to put in my sky.
yet all of these characters would be pointless without the Baby Jesus, who was born to save us all that night, and changed the world with His birth and the promise of righted wrongs and eternal joy that it brought.
