turns out

i like the socratic method.  it is terrifying, strikes fear into the strongest of hearts being called on in front of the class to be harassed into answering any and every twisted question or hypothetical that the professor can muster.  and, let me assure you, they can muster a lot.  you are expected to have an answer and and an argument on the spot because that is what lawyers do.  they think on the spot.  they have answers for everything.  they don't hesitate.  they don't show fear.  neither should we.  the point of law school is to torture students into being brave.  

it works.  the socratic method makes me work really hard learn the law because 1) i don't want to look like an idiot, and 2) i don't want to let my professor down.  when a professor cold-calls on me, it feels like they have entrusted me with the sacred task of teaching a concept.  i want to rise to the calling, to show them that their spontaneous and voluntary trust has been well placed.  

i don't feel this same symbiosis, teamwork, interdependence with teachers that don't call on me out of the blue, who give me fair and reasonable warning that they are planning on making an idiot out of me on a given day.  when i am given time to prepare, i don't prepare as well.  and i only prepare for when my preparation is necessary.  

apparently i like hard knocks.  does that make me self-destructive or gangster?  is there a difference?  jay-z probably knows.