Tuesday, February 26, 2013

weighing in

i have never been a bachelor fan.  but somehow, this year, i got sucked in.  let's be honest, though.  it was only a matter of time.  i drink obscene amounts of diet coke.  i love us weekly.  i've read all four twilight books.  really, considering my resume, it's amazing i've held out this long.

so, the time has come, and i have fallen...for catherine giudici.



she's cool.  cooler than sean.  she can fit into a tire.  she has a normal voice (not one that's super high, sugary sweet, and hisses out S's like a ssssssnake).  and she doesn't cry all the time, like someone i know...


plus, she does humorous stuff.















and she says humorous things.




she makes the entire show seem somewhat normal and restores my faith in the kind of womankind who apply for and go onto reality tv shows in order to find true love and get married.

also, i'm pretty sure she could kill tierra, my new arch-nemisis.


i would be lying if i didn't say that i generally view "the bachelor" as a battle royal between me (catherine) and dramatic, bratty, temper-tantrum-throwing, volatile, pushy, aggressive, pouty manhandlers (represented by tierra).  so far, catherine and i have won.

come on, sean.  we look great in a wedding dress.


somehow, i feel like my whole life's happiness is contingent on who sean picks as his wife...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

o. m. g.

last night my indian roommate told me that my voice sounds like this:


and i'm like, "THANK YOU!"

she said i'd left a song (the above song) on in my room when i'd gone downstairs and she thought it was me until she looked in my room and didn't see anyone except a lone computer belting out this little number.  "you're voices just sound the same!" she explained.

she has front row tickets to my daily performances, as her room is right next to the bathroom.  i have often wondered whether she dreaded my shower time.  who knew all along she thought i sounded like rihanna?  i'm not sure whether or not she thinks that's a good thing...but i think it's awesome, for like a billion reasons including that:

1) rihanna's not white, which has always been a goal of mine.
2) she's got a phenomenal voice, and
3) fabulous clothes, not to mention her


4) hair, face, and bod.
5) she can BUST A MOVE.


6) she has a hot boyfriend, and


7) an awesome accent, and
8) a holiday dedicated to her.  (it's on february 22, so, let's go to barbados and celebrate!)

however, in compiling this list of pros for being rihanna-esque, i realized that many of her pros are also serious cons because:

1) sometimes her clothes are atrocious.


2) as are her hair and accessories (though her face and bod are always on point. ok, well maybe not her face).


3) her boyfriend punches her in the face, and
4) he currently looks like this, complete with the worst tattoo ever tattooed:


5) she probably cries herself to sleep at night remembering that chris brown used to be like this:


and this:


and from the fresh wounds he has inflicted upon her.

so, all in all, i don't wish that i was rihanna, since she's mostly crazy (with a frosting layer of cool).  but i do not mind being told that i sound like her.  and i want it on the record that chris brown will always be an OC band geek in my mind.

in other news, the road to lake powell fell apart.  WHAT. THE. HECK.